Cool Stuff Alert!!!

A couple weeks ago, while hanging out at a good friend’s house, I happened to see the premiere issue of Lunchmeat, a band new fanzine devoted entirely to obscure films that were released on VHS but still have not made the transition to DVD, mostly due to their trashy, low brow, cult film reputations . I unfortunately only got to leaf through it for a minute or two, but needless to say, well, you can imagine how super excited I was about it.

Thankfully I got some contact info and sent them an email, and the guys (Josh and Ted) were gracious enough to send over a promo copy for my review. And thank God they did because I’m loving every page of it!

Lunchmeat is essentially what you’d get if you took Radiation Sickness and put it on paper (which incidentally was what was originally planned for this publication as well). Inside you’ll find a bunch of intelligent, lovingly written reviews of some less than legendary films (unless we’re talking legendarily bad, most likely) by two guys who are undoubtedly passionate about watching movies that most people have probably never heard of. All of this is put together in a well designed package that reflects the content perfectly, sort of a mix of a more professional punk rock fanzine, grindhouse movie poster, and old school monster magazine. Now does that sound like we’re cut from the same cloth or what?!

In this issue we get a healthy dose of horror film reviews from the late 70’s and 80’s (including a few titles that have been on my list of potentials for the site), a time when VHS was unquestionably king, as well as an article about a website dedicated to showcasing classic movie monster toys throughout the ages. What more could you ask for?

But I have to say that the thing I find most exciting and impressive about Lunchmeat is their reasoning for doing it all in the first place, which they’ve mentioned in the introduction to this issue is not only to potentially let others know about some fun, trash-filled movies that they might have overlooked otherwise, but more importantly to make friends with those like minded bizarre film fans who really “get it”, or as they put it “making the unknown known to those who truly appreciate it.”

That’s definitely something that I can stand behind, as it’s what I’ve always strived to do with my writing here and on other sites, because they’re absolutely right, there is nothing better than finding those other people who understand (without explanation) just what it is that some of us see in these lesser celebrated entries in cinematic history. We grade-Z garbage cult film fans have to stick together, you know?!

If it’s kindred spirits you’re looking for guys, you’ve definitely found one in me. Keep up the good work; I’m already looking forward to future issues.

For those of you interested in picking up a copy of Lunchmeat #1 (which should be ALL of you reading this), you can find it at the Relapse Records web store or on ebay (just search for “lunchmeat” and wade through all the listings for coupons). Please check it out and support these guys who are doing something awesome.

The Last Crusade

Well, here we are. We’ve finally reached the end of our journey. The final installment in our Italian Rip Offs of Indiana Jones series.

And while a few updates ago I was scolding myself over it taking so long to reach the finale, today I was given proof that everything obviously happens for a reason, as I realized how appropriate it is that the final review in the series, Treasure of the Four Crowns, a movie that was originally released in 3-D and helped to start the 80’s 3-D revival craze, is going up right after the big premiere weekend of Journey to the Center of the Earth, a movie that is kinda sorta trying to start a current 3-D revival craze, but only in select theaters.

So while all the fun talk of 3-D still fills the air in what I’m sure will be its all too brief return to fame, please enjoy the last leg of our spaghetti adventure, as it may be another 19 years before I review (in other words, manage to sit through) another film like this again.

But probably not.

Best Bees

A while ago I posted an update in which I mentioned that Legend Films would be releasing The Deadly Bees, but I was unable to find out any specifics as far as a street date. Well, it’s available now (I just bought one), but as it turns out it’s a Best Buy exclusive (along with some other decent titles including the 1974 intelligent future-ants on the loose shocker Phase IV).

So head on down to your local big yellow tag and pick one up. Or if you’re lazy (or maybe just too busy!), you can order it online. I’m not going to post a link to it though, because I’m sure you’re all smart enough to find your way to the Best Buy website. If not, you probably don’t deserve the movie.

The Adventure Continues…

Well, I certainly never intended the tail on the kite that is the Italian Rip Offs of Indiana Jones series to get this long, but lately I’ve been especially busy with some other things (stupid responsibilities! and holidays!) and it’s also been ungodly hot in my office once again, making it practically unbearable to sit in here for more than a few minutes at a time. But I’m going to try to get things back on track here and finish this all up within the next few days so we can move on to some other genres, because believe it or not, even I’m actually starting to get a little tired of watching bad adventure movies, and that’s pretty shocking because I’ll watch just about anything.

To my credit, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is still in theaters (opened Memorial Day and it’s still playing at the 4th of July!), so technically this is all still relevant information. Not that I really care if it wasn’t. After all, I’m in charge here. I can do whatever I want.

Anyway, I’ll shut up so we can get down to business.

Hang on to your fedoras, because this one can get to be a bit of a rocky ride:

The Mines of Kilimanjaro

All I Would Need Is A Whip

Why does it feel like I’ve been gone for 19 years?

It’s only been a week.

But now that I’m back from some adventures of my own, like visiting some out-of-town friends and catching a couple screenings at the New York Asian Film Festival (still going on through July 6th, check it out!), let’s get back to business with some real adventure in part 3 of our Italian Rip Offs of Indiana Jones series, the third and final film in Antonio Margheriti’s unofficial Indy-esque trilogy (I guess you could consider it his “last crusade”, ha ha ha! And what makes that already bad joke even worse is that Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade wasn’t even made yet; not for another four whole years!), Jungle Raiders.

NYAFF 2008

The 2008 New York Asian Film Festival is almost upon us (it starts this coming weekend!), so I wanted to do my part, albeit small, in getting the word out and advising anyone reading this who is in the area (or anyone with an interest in Asian film and the ability to travel) to check it out.

The folks who put this festival together always do a wonderful job of selecting a multitude of films (and it keeps getting bigger every year!) that represent a wide variety of countries and genres, from gritty, blood-soaked Hong Kong action/crime to sweet and silly Korean romantic comedies and absolutely everything in between, which of course always includes a healthy dose of that special blend of genre-bending Japanese horror/sci-fi/action/comedy/who-knows-what-else insanity that has become such a crowd favorite.

Over the years I’ve seen them show both eagerly anticipated, highly buzzed-about movies that have gone on to become cult classics (stuff like Versus, Ichi the Killer, Ju-On, etc.), as well as some truly rare stuff that has unfortunately faded into obscurity (or maybe not unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, seeing as some of us around here celebrate obscurity), like the Filipino Spider Man rip off Gagamboy, which was such a treat to see in what was probably the only U.S. screening ever (and we all know that there’s nothing better than getting to see a totally bizarre movie that you might never have another chance to see in a theater with an audience consisting of your fellow cinematically adventurous brethren!).

Most importantly, no matter what I’ve seen them show, I’ve always had fun.

So head on over to the festival website, pick out some interesting sounding stuff, buy tickets, go out and enjoy yourselves at the movies, and support a festival dedicated to bringing some of the most innovative and wildly entertaining films the world has to offer to U.S. shores for our eager fanboy consumption.

I Got Out Of The Kitchen

Considering that for the last few days it’s been about as hot as an Amazonian jungle (or an ancient, underground temple filled with molten hot lava for that matter) in the office where I keep my computer here at RS headquarters, I’ve barely even wanted to take five minutes to check my email, let alone sit in this sweltering hellhole and format the review that will be part two of our Italian Rip Offs of Indiana Jones series.

Thankfully, we got an air conditioner up and running last night (finally!), which is making things a little more bearable, at least enough for me to get the ball rolling again (was that another bad Indiana Jones joke?)

That’s right my friends, the adventure is far from over. There are plenty more action-packed, danger-filled, international quests for hidden treasure to come.

So grab your machete, strap on your trusty whip, and fill up a couple bags with sand (you know, to put in place of any priceless relics that may be resting on weight sensitive pillars set to trigger lethal traps), as we head off on the second leg of our cinematic voyage, in search of the Ark of the Sun God.

Spaghetti Adventure?

As we all knew it would, Indiana Jones fever has taken the country by storm. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull raked in an estimated $101 million on its opening weekend, making it the second largest Memorial Day release and the third largest opening of all time. It was only #2 at the box office this past weekend (behind Sex and the City!), but that still puts its total gross so far at a whopping $216 million.

On top of that, you can’t go anywhere right now without that familiar cascading logo showing up, whether on the seemingly endless sea of merchandise currently lining store shelves, or as some kind of contest or other corporate tie-in (I saw that there is even a toy whip now that makes realistic cracking sounds and plays the IJ theme when you swing it around. I must have one!).

I’m sure most of you have hopefully had a chance to see it by now and probably have a very strong opinion on the film one way or the other, which seems to be the norm. The verdict seems pretty mixed, with some people already hoping for yet another sequel (but then again, some people just always want another sequel) and others already crying foul and predicting another Star Wars prequel-like fiasco. I’ll spare you my personal opinions on the matter, because that’s not what this post is about.

But either way, the people have spoken and what they said was, “We obviously love Indiana Jones!”

Well, not to be outdone, I figured I’d better get in on the Indy bandwagon, too.

So, just in case you simply can’t get enough world traveling, temple raiding, treasure hunting summertime action-adventure, I’m proud to present to you Radiation Sickness’ very first special feature/review series:

But before you continue on, as a small aside, I’d just like to point out that as this is my first big feature article, there may be a few bugs with it, so please bear with me as I get it all worked out. This started out as one massive article (which is why it’s been taking a while and you haven’t heard much from me otherwise), but I decided, based on ease of reading and navigation, to break it up into sections. So hopefully, if all works out as planned, the article will initially only be accessible through this link (which leads to the introduction), but as the reviews go up one by one, you will be able to choose to read each one individually or the entire feature as a whole.

Is Anyone Home?

Just checking in. No review this time though, as I’ve been feeling a little under the weather, but some bigger things should be coming just around the corner.

While I’m here though, I wanted to give a little update on some recent news and upcoming events:

1. Someone’s obviously been reading the site because DVD releases for both The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh and The Deadly Bees have been announced! Scarecrow, in it’s uncut, original 3-part miniseries format, will be part of the Walt Disney Treasures collection with a tentative street date of 11-11-08, while Legend Films is set to put out The Deadly Bees, but has not announced any specifics as to when it will be available.

2. Next Saturday, June 7th 2008, my good friends at Exhumed Films are presenting a very special screening of the only remaining print of the 1973 “lost” psychedelic classic Malatesta’s Carnival of Blood, partnered with the eerie, dreamlike zombie film Messiah of Evil, an extremely fitting choice to round out this double feature. Both films are fantastic and Malatesta director Christopher Speeth, along with several other members of the cast and crew, will be on hand to discuss the film and answer any questions you might have. I would recommend that anyone who is really a fan of bizarre/obscure horror films attend. It should be lots of fun.

3. I don’t intend to really discuss newer films here (perhaps on occasion) and I normally wouldn’t put in such a shameless plug for myself, but anyone who is interested in going to see The Strangers this weekend might want to read a review of an uncannily similar (and slightly more effective) French film titled Ils(Them) that I wrote for FEARnet.com, if you’re not already familiar with it. It is now available on DVD here in the U.S. (released by Dark Sky Films) and I would recommend checking it out whether or not you end up liking this new Hollywood pseudo-remake (as far as I know it’s not technically a remake, but as I mentioned both films share an unbelievable amount in common, and I think it would be quite a coincidence if they were both made independently without one having knowledge of the other; I guess it wouldn’t be the first time though) as they both explore the theme of home invasion that I’m sure most of us probably find rather terrifying.

Well, that’s all I got for now. Check back soon for more reviews of trashy movies.

Tales From The Dorkside

One of my all time favorite things to do when I find some expendable free time, on a lazy Saturday afternoon perhaps (if I’m not already watching some dumb movie), is to spend a couple hours perusing a few of those “please help me identify/remember the name of this movie” type sites/message boards that I sometimes come across in my never ending search for bizarre films.

You know, the ones where people will write an extremely vague description, often with little or no details, of a plot or scene from a movie (or at least they think it was from a movie, but it could have possibly just been a weird dream, they’re a little foggy on that fact) that they saw as a child on some random TV station late at night 15-20 years ago, and then ask if any of the pantheon of film geeks that are reading it, whose encyclopedic brains are just bursting with useless knowledge, can hopefully remember the title, because they can’t seem to and it’s been driving them absolutely crazy.

Ahh, those are always so much fun to read, aren’t they?

And why, exactly, would I find reading other peoples ridiculously sparse descriptions of movies which they are struggling to fully remember so entertaining?

Well, first of all, I can sympathize. I’m sure we all can. There’s probably not one among us who hasn’t known first hand the absolute mental anguish that comes along with not being able to remember a films title while a particular plot element or a strong piece of visual imagery remains dancing around in your head, destined to torment you for eternity. My brain hurts even thinking about it.

But mostly I like to read them because one of three possible results takes place:

1. I know the movie they are talking about and feel smart

2. I also vaguely recall the scene/plot they are describing, but can’t remember the title and will subsequently also be driven crazy by it unless I find out, prompting me to join in their search

3. I have no idea what the movie is that they are talking about, and I think that it most likely sounds completely made up or could possibly be a combination of parts from several movies that they are confusing, but nonetheless something within the description, real or imagined, has piqued my interest and now I must find out what this film is, if it actually exists, and see it

#3 was the case with Encounter with the Unknown.

The details presented in the brief description I read were quite vivid for once (the person actually remembered entire portions of this ominous curse uttered by one of the characters), which gave me something to start my search with.

It took some time (several hours of fruitlessly scouring the internet for clues), but I eventually was able to find the title. Then, thanks to the folks at retroFLICKS (which I was going to post a link to, but sadly it seems that they are no longer in operation), who released the film, I was able to finally get my hands on a copy and see it.

So, was it worth all the time and effort that it took me to identify and locate it?

Let’s find out.