Tales From The Dorkside

One of my all time favorite things to do when I find some expendable free time, on a lazy Saturday afternoon perhaps (if I’m not already watching some dumb movie), is to spend a couple hours perusing a few of those “please help me identify/remember the name of this movie” type sites/message boards that I sometimes come across in my never ending search for bizarre films.

You know, the ones where people will write an extremely vague description, often with little or no details, of a plot or scene from a movie (or at least they think it was from a movie, but it could have possibly just been a weird dream, they’re a little foggy on that fact) that they saw as a child on some random TV station late at night 15-20 years ago, and then ask if any of the pantheon of film geeks that are reading it, whose encyclopedic brains are just bursting with useless knowledge, can hopefully remember the title, because they can’t seem to and it’s been driving them absolutely crazy.

Ahh, those are always so much fun to read, aren’t they?

And why, exactly, would I find reading other peoples ridiculously sparse descriptions of movies which they are struggling to fully remember so entertaining?

Well, first of all, I can sympathize. I’m sure we all can. There’s probably not one among us who hasn’t known first hand the absolute mental anguish that comes along with not being able to remember a films title while a particular plot element or a strong piece of visual imagery remains dancing around in your head, destined to torment you for eternity. My brain hurts even thinking about it.

But mostly I like to read them because one of three possible results takes place:

1. I know the movie they are talking about and feel smart

2. I also vaguely recall the scene/plot they are describing, but can’t remember the title and will subsequently also be driven crazy by it unless I find out, prompting me to join in their search

3. I have no idea what the movie is that they are talking about, and I think that it most likely sounds completely made up or could possibly be a combination of parts from several movies that they are confusing, but nonetheless something within the description, real or imagined, has piqued my interest and now I must find out what this film is, if it actually exists, and see it

#3 was the case with Encounter with the Unknown.

The details presented in the brief description I read were quite vivid for once (the person actually remembered entire portions of this ominous curse uttered by one of the characters), which gave me something to start my search with.

It took some time (several hours of fruitlessly scouring the internet for clues), but I eventually was able to find the title. Then, thanks to the folks at retroFLICKS (which I was going to post a link to, but sadly it seems that they are no longer in operation), who released the film, I was able to finally get my hands on a copy and see it.

So, was it worth all the time and effort that it took me to identify and locate it?

Let’s find out.

There’s No Doubt About It…

Spring is in the air.

I can tell by the fresh coat of bright yellow pollen that I find on my car each morning.

April showers have brought May flowers. Which in turn have brought that thick layer of golden dust.

And you know what all that pollen means, right?

BEES

I hate them. Always have. They’re one of the few things that I have a completely irrational fear of. I’m not allergic, as far as I know anyway, and I’ve only ever been stung twice, but there is just something about those little flying a-holes that rubs me the wrong way.

Yet, in honor of the arrival of the beautiful spring weather, I’ve decided to put my fear and hatred aside (for 90 minutes anyway) and watch The Deadly Bees.

Maybe I’m subconsciously trying to confront the fear, in the vain hope that I won’t freak out every time a harmless honeybee tries to land on my ice cream sandwich this summer.

More likely, I just want to see some people get stung to death.

Either way, enjoy.