The Future Is Now

Well, not exactly.

But the future is soon. I promise.

We’re going through some technological upgrades here at RS headquarters in order to provide you, the bizarre-film-loving reader, with the best possible weird, wild, and wacky cinema content that we can come up with.

Think less Robby the Robot and more T-1000.

It’s going to be just like Tron. Seriously. I swear.

So check back soon to find out what we have in store.

Over The River And Through The Woods…

I just found out that Sunday was Grandparent’s Day.

And not just any Grandparent’s Day, but the 30th anniversary of the holiday itself, commemorating the very first time it was observed back in September of 1970.

So I hope you all called your grandma and grandpa and told them how much you love them. Or your nana and pop-pop. Or mee-maw and paw-paw. Or whatever you call them.

We celebrated here at Radiation Sickness by watching The Electric Grandmother, a 1982 TV movie based on Ray Bradbury’s I Sing the Body Electric and penned by none other than the author himself.

Maybe you could get together with your grandparents and check it out.

Then again, it’s kind of weird, so they might not like it.

But we sure did.

You Bring The Potato Salad

It’s Labor Day. The symbolic end of summer.

Enjoy it while it lasts, because tomorrow we have to close up the pool and put our white deck pants in storage.

So in order to commemorate the passing of another season, we here at Radiation Sickness have decided to have a traditional holiday cookout, and you’re all invited.

It’s actually a clambake, so I hope you like seafood.

The only thing is, we don’t have any clams. Or mussels. Or lobster.

But we do have crab meat. A TON of it.

That’s because we’re really celebrating the holiday by taking a look at 1980’s Island Claws.

So you go and read the review and I’ll start working on melting the drawn butter. We’re going to need a lot of it, so it might take a while.

Back From The Dead

Hey guys, remember me?

Unfortunately life has been a bit crazy lately and some silly little things like steady jobs and college classes (stupid responsibilities!) have gotten in the way of the truly important things like watching dumb movies that very few people (if any) have ever heard of, which is why I haven’t been around much. Or at all, for that matter.

But as you can see, I couldn’t take the withdrawal any longer.

It was just too much for me.

So in case you were wondering if the site was dead, or even worse that maybe I was dead, I want to put your minds at ease by letting you know that both of us are still very much alive (or perhaps I should be saying sorry to disappoint you instead!).

In any event, some new reviews should be coming real soon, so make sure you stay tuned for all sorts of weird, wild, totally ridiculous trash movie goodness.

Cool Stuff Alert!!!

A couple weeks ago, while hanging out at a good friend’s house, I happened to see the premiere issue of Lunchmeat, a band new fanzine devoted entirely to obscure films that were released on VHS but still have not made the transition to DVD, mostly due to their trashy, low brow, cult film reputations . I unfortunately only got to leaf through it for a minute or two, but needless to say, well, you can imagine how super excited I was about it.

Thankfully I got some contact info and sent them an email, and the guys (Josh and Ted) were gracious enough to send over a promo copy for my review. And thank God they did because I’m loving every page of it!

Lunchmeat is essentially what you’d get if you took Radiation Sickness and put it on paper (which incidentally was what was originally planned for this publication as well). Inside you’ll find a bunch of intelligent, lovingly written reviews of some less than legendary films (unless we’re talking legendarily bad, most likely) by two guys who are undoubtedly passionate about watching movies that most people have probably never heard of. All of this is put together in a well designed package that reflects the content perfectly, sort of a mix of a more professional punk rock fanzine, grindhouse movie poster, and old school monster magazine. Now does that sound like we’re cut from the same cloth or what?!

In this issue we get a healthy dose of horror film reviews from the late 70’s and 80’s (including a few titles that have been on my list of potentials for the site), a time when VHS was unquestionably king, as well as an article about a website dedicated to showcasing classic movie monster toys throughout the ages. What more could you ask for?

But I have to say that the thing I find most exciting and impressive about Lunchmeat is their reasoning for doing it all in the first place, which they’ve mentioned in the introduction to this issue is not only to potentially let others know about some fun, trash-filled movies that they might have overlooked otherwise, but more importantly to make friends with those like minded bizarre film fans who really “get it”, or as they put it “making the unknown known to those who truly appreciate it.”

That’s definitely something that I can stand behind, as it’s what I’ve always strived to do with my writing here and on other sites, because they’re absolutely right, there is nothing better than finding those other people who understand (without explanation) just what it is that some of us see in these lesser celebrated entries in cinematic history. We grade-Z garbage cult film fans have to stick together, you know?!

If it’s kindred spirits you’re looking for guys, you’ve definitely found one in me. Keep up the good work; I’m already looking forward to future issues.

For those of you interested in picking up a copy of Lunchmeat #1 (which should be ALL of you reading this), you can find it at the Relapse Records web store or on ebay (just search for “lunchmeat” and wade through all the listings for coupons). Please check it out and support these guys who are doing something awesome.

The Last Crusade

Well, here we are. We’ve finally reached the end of our journey. The final installment in our Italian Rip Offs of Indiana Jones series.

And while a few updates ago I was scolding myself over it taking so long to reach the finale, today I was given proof that everything obviously happens for a reason, as I realized how appropriate it is that the final review in the series, Treasure of the Four Crowns, a movie that was originally released in 3-D and helped to start the 80’s 3-D revival craze, is going up right after the big premiere weekend of Journey to the Center of the Earth, a movie that is kinda sorta trying to start a current 3-D revival craze, but only in select theaters.

So while all the fun talk of 3-D still fills the air in what I’m sure will be its all too brief return to fame, please enjoy the last leg of our spaghetti adventure, as it may be another 19 years before I review (in other words, manage to sit through) another film like this again.

But probably not.

Best Bees

A while ago I posted an update in which I mentioned that Legend Films would be releasing The Deadly Bees, but I was unable to find out any specifics as far as a street date. Well, it’s available now (I just bought one), but as it turns out it’s a Best Buy exclusive (along with some other decent titles including the 1974 intelligent future-ants on the loose shocker Phase IV).

So head on down to your local big yellow tag and pick one up. Or if you’re lazy (or maybe just too busy!), you can order it online. I’m not going to post a link to it though, because I’m sure you’re all smart enough to find your way to the Best Buy website. If not, you probably don’t deserve the movie.

The Adventure Continues…

Well, I certainly never intended the tail on the kite that is the Italian Rip Offs of Indiana Jones series to get this long, but lately I’ve been especially busy with some other things (stupid responsibilities! and holidays!) and it’s also been ungodly hot in my office once again, making it practically unbearable to sit in here for more than a few minutes at a time. But I’m going to try to get things back on track here and finish this all up within the next few days so we can move on to some other genres, because believe it or not, even I’m actually starting to get a little tired of watching bad adventure movies, and that’s pretty shocking because I’ll watch just about anything.

To my credit, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is still in theaters (opened Memorial Day and it’s still playing at the 4th of July!), so technically this is all still relevant information. Not that I really care if it wasn’t. After all, I’m in charge here. I can do whatever I want.

Anyway, I’ll shut up so we can get down to business.

Hang on to your fedoras, because this one can get to be a bit of a rocky ride:

The Mines of Kilimanjaro

All I Would Need Is A Whip

Why does it feel like I’ve been gone for 19 years?

It’s only been a week.

But now that I’m back from some adventures of my own, like visiting some out-of-town friends and catching a couple screenings at the New York Asian Film Festival (still going on through July 6th, check it out!), let’s get back to business with some real adventure in part 3 of our Italian Rip Offs of Indiana Jones series, the third and final film in Antonio Margheriti’s unofficial Indy-esque trilogy (I guess you could consider it his “last crusade”, ha ha ha! And what makes that already bad joke even worse is that Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade wasn’t even made yet; not for another four whole years!), Jungle Raiders.

NYAFF 2008

The 2008 New York Asian Film Festival is almost upon us (it starts this coming weekend!), so I wanted to do my part, albeit small, in getting the word out and advising anyone reading this who is in the area (or anyone with an interest in Asian film and the ability to travel) to check it out.

The folks who put this festival together always do a wonderful job of selecting a multitude of films (and it keeps getting bigger every year!) that represent a wide variety of countries and genres, from gritty, blood-soaked Hong Kong action/crime to sweet and silly Korean romantic comedies and absolutely everything in between, which of course always includes a healthy dose of that special blend of genre-bending Japanese horror/sci-fi/action/comedy/who-knows-what-else insanity that has become such a crowd favorite.

Over the years I’ve seen them show both eagerly anticipated, highly buzzed-about movies that have gone on to become cult classics (stuff like Versus, Ichi the Killer, Ju-On, etc.), as well as some truly rare stuff that has unfortunately faded into obscurity (or maybe not unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, seeing as some of us around here celebrate obscurity), like the Filipino Spider Man rip off Gagamboy, which was such a treat to see in what was probably the only U.S. screening ever (and we all know that there’s nothing better than getting to see a totally bizarre movie that you might never have another chance to see in a theater with an audience consisting of your fellow cinematically adventurous brethren!).

Most importantly, no matter what I’ve seen them show, I’ve always had fun.

So head on over to the festival website, pick out some interesting sounding stuff, buy tickets, go out and enjoy yourselves at the movies, and support a festival dedicated to bringing some of the most innovative and wildly entertaining films the world has to offer to U.S. shores for our eager fanboy consumption.