Dr. Henry Walton “Indiana” Jones Jr. - archaeologist, scholar, professor, historian, and most importantly, adventurer. Who ever would have guessed that his first appearance in 1981’s Raiders of the Lost Ark would be such a success that he would go on to become one of the most recognizable characters of our time and the archetype for the adventure hero, spawning countless imitators (like Lara Croft or that guy that Brendan Fraser plays in The Mummy) and creating a legacy all his own, featuring various sequels, toys, comic books, video games, and even theme park rides. Now, in 2008, 19 years after his last film appearance, Indiana Jones has made a triumphant return to the big screen with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

But who really cares? 19 years? That’s practically two decades. And we’re still supposed to be interested? I mean, I love Indiana Jones as much as the next guy, but that’s an awfully long time to wait to see the further adventures of any character, no matter how beloved. Especially when we’ve had so many other far more exciting cinematic adventurers to entertain us in the meantime. Who gives a crap about Indiana Jones after seeing the action-packed exploits of J.T. Striker or Captain Yankee, right?

Uh, what about Dr. Ed Barclay?

Right?

Okay, so I know that most (if not all) of you have no idea who those people are or what the hell I’m talking about (it’s okay, I’m used to it). Let me explain (and for the record, I was just as excited about the new Indy movie as anyone; I was just trying to make a point back there).

For those of you who don’t already know, the Italian film industry is like the Parfums De Coeur Designer Impostors body sprays of cinema. In other words, if you like (insert title of world renowned Hollywood blockbuster here), then you’ll love (insert title of no budget Italian “homage” here). Now that’s not to say that they haven’t contributed more than their fair share of truly original, innovative output, because they absolutely have, that’s for certain. But they do (or I should probably say did, because the movie industry there is certainly not as productive as it used to be) have quite a knack for churning out less-than-spectacular facsimiles of influential films.

If a movie was popular enough to gain international attention, then a watered down version of their own was soon to follow (which oddly enough is what Hollywood has been doing for the last few years; it’s funny how the tables have turned like that, isn’t it?). No genre was safe, with myriads of cheap copies of films like Star Wars, The Road Warrior, The Exorcist, and Dirty Harry spilling into theaters and onto video in the wake of the originals. You can bet that in the future Radiation Sickness will definitely be taking a look at some of these other knockoff subgenres, but right now we’re going to concentrate on, you guessed it, Italy’s answer to the world’s favorite adventurer.

In this series we’ll be exploring (ha ha, get it!) five films in total, because five Italian Indiana Jones rip offs was all that I could find (there doesn’t seem to be quite as many of these as there are say Road Warrior/Mad Max clones or spaghetti westerns, of which there is easily about a billion). If any of you out there know of any other films that fit the criteria (a. from Italy and b. featuring a bogus IJ) which I might have overlooked, please, by all means, let me know.

So, without further ado…